Lonely Nights

So this is one more blog than last time I attempted one.

You know how they say optimism is a good thing for your confidence and attitude; well I disagree, with optimism comes hopefulness, and I for one hate getting my hopes up. I do this all the time, i run through scenarios in my head, be optimistic about a situation and get my hopes up that things might turn out the way I imagine then: This is rarely ever the case...

Let's take tonight for example, Gary was to drive me home. Now, throughout the day we discussed all of his current flings and his issues with them, they aren't pretty enough, too clingy, no fun in bed etc. Now that did nothing for my confidence as majority of girls he gets with are well and truly smoking and he doesn't consider half of them attractived, however when it comes to sex it seems he would perfect for exactly what I would like.

At lunch today he was talking about my housemate, saying how he would be able to seduce her and that I should invite him in tonight to meet her, this did get my hopes up. Gary in my house, my mind wandered quite quickly to things that of course got my hopes up...

So he is driving me home tonight, telling me how he doesn't have any1 lined up but that he is definitely getting laid tonight, of course I want that to be me, not that I would let on to that. So we get to mine and we are chatting in the car for a bit when I realise, much to my displeasure that my housemate isn't home, I now have no reason to invite him in without being the initiator in anything. So we sit there for a bit I eventually get out of there car, knowing that he won't initiate anything. He could do much better than me unfortunately, and he knows it. I think I have the perfect personality for him but the looks and figure don't match his standards.  Shame.

So here I am sitting on my bed, with my hopes up that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow night be different....

I hate optimism!