Picking Up Where We Left Off

I find it easy to escape reality, delving into the cyber world of anonymity and becoming someone else, someone new and intriguing, unlike me in every way; however it is also a great release to explore my own world more in depth and propagate my true self to the world, hidden to those around me.

I have had blog posts before, and I must admit I have been unsuccessful in maintaining them in every single way, I just drop off, become too absorbed in reality, losing myself in a world of sex, drugs and tears.

Once again however, I will try to divulge my story, in truth and honesty, no lies or shortcomings: this is me, for all I am worth, on show, for the eyes of the world to judge and witness.

I will first post the only two Blogs I had previously written this year; it is amazing even now to read back on them and realise only a mere 8 months later, that my life has changed entirely in almost every aspect.

Introduction

Do you ever hear people discuss a woman, who has cheated on her partner, created a dangerous lie that spiraled out of control, kept secrets from their family for years, done things they shouldn’t have done for money or acted like a complete slut, and then say “I would never do a thing like that” ?
Maybe you believe that you honestly wouldn’t ever do any of those things. I know there was a time in my life when i would struggle to keep a secret from my partner for more than a few days, let alone years; time does that to people though, it changes them: some people might not even notice the changes, but they are there.
This blog will introduce the woman I truly am, although i suspect few will read my words, it gives me a small amount of peace to know that the truth is out there and perhaps those who need to find it will stumble upon it one day.

∞10:48 pm, By Faith Harper.

Welcoming In The New Year

I’m not sure what everyone else did to welcome in the year 2010, however I know exactly what I did. Just 11 hours into the New Year, I found myself wanting to cheat on my partner with his best friend. Horrible I know but technically it wasn’t betrayal; But how do i put my relationship under a technicality… You see, my partner loves me dearly; he would do anything for me. How I managed to claim a man like him is honestly beyond me, as he deserves much better than me. My issue is I love my partner or at least I thought I did, in fact I may have loved the person who used to be but not now. My love for a partner will always be stronger that anything else in this world, if I actually love them and want them, but I don't think i do.. The other man, as I shall call him, has confessed quite isolated feelings for me, putting more difficulty into the situation. I need to tell my partner, I need to end it, but i am afraid.. I can’t keep things from him; it drives me insane, to know that i may be causing him pain…

∞08:35 pm, B Faith Harper.

 Since realeasing these two blogs I have:

*Quit my job

*Dropped out of Uni

*Started Working Fulltime

*Lost most of my friends

*Ended my long term relationship with my partner

*Developed an Alcohol Problem

*Attempted to commit Suicide

*Fallen into a whole new lifestyle

*Developed feelings that I can't dismiss

*Covered my sexuality

*Gained about 10Kgs

*Been offered $12,000 no questions asked

*Kicked out of home

*Relocated to the city

*Developed a whole new world of issues

*And no longer talk to my parents and numerous friends

There is a lot to fill you in on, too much obviously for one blog, but atleast this is a start.

Alas, it is 1 O'clock in the morning and I really must be getting to sleep as I have much to do in tomorrow, before my trip.

Take care and be safe,

Faith Destiny Harper. Xx.