So Alone.

It's one of these days again...
I feel so alone. So lonely. It's one of those days where the thought of leaving my room kills me....
I can't do it, I can't face the world. I never want to leave this place. I want someone to lay here with me, holding me, cuddling me, never letting me go.

I want someone to want me.
I need someone to need me.
Honestly all I keep holding onto is that there is someone out there who make me feel different from everyone else, who appreciates me for me and actually wants me...

I can't face this world alone, without someone to share it with. I will die.

But I don't just want anyone, and that is why, when countless people have thrown their feelings down at me telling me that they want me, I could never let them in....
Because I know what I am like, and it seems impossible to find someone that I will willingly open up to and just be myself.

I want someone to move in with me by age 20, propose to me at age 21, be married to me by 23 and have kids with me by 25. I have it all thought out, and yet to be honest I'd be happy just to find someone that I actually want to do any of that with.

That would make my life complete. It would make me happier than anything else for all of this to happen.

But what would really make me happy is for someone to want me, need me and love me.

I'm not sure how much longer I can last.

Everyday I stare at these scars and I think to myself, 3rd times the charm....